He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
