I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
