I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
