That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
