Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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