Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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