You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
