I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
