I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
