he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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