hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That accounts for only three of the penises
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
