I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
