What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
