We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
