there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
