im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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