so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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