I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
