This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
