I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
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