Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
