It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Who died my cat blue again?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
