You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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