Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is Oprah even human
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
