More tranny stories later!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Everclear isn't food dammit
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
