i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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