at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
