Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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