I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
