Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
