"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
