So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
