Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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