is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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