just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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