Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
