Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
