bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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