So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
