Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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