I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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