i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
