your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
