redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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