I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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