i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
