I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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