Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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