Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
