this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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