You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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