By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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